PAUSE

I am not sure if I have blogged this yet or not, but I wish I could just pause time right now. Yes, there are more than a few moments where I just want to scream in frustration with my strong-willed, independent, stubborn toddler or cry due to sleep deprivation with my wants-to-nurse-(or cry)-all-night baby...but honestly, I know I am going to miss these days. I want time to pause right now.

PAUSE.

My favorite time of night is bedtime- and not because it is the end of my day with them. It is just when they are relaxed and calm and we just sit and enjoy our last few moments of the day together.

With Colson he drinks his bottle and then nurses. I get to look in his eyes, cuddle him and he smiles sweetly up at me- milk spilling out the sides of his mouth...Then nuzzles up, lays on me and we rock and he hugs me and falls asleep. I love holding him and snuggling up. I love smelling him and truly cherish the quiet moments we share at the end of the night. I never want that to change.

He is such a sweet boy and I get so many compliments about how happy he is and what a good baby he is all the time. He smiles and flirts with strangers and can turn anyone's day around with his dimply smile.

And Lauren- oh my sweet Lauren. She isn't three yet and I just love that she wants to be held and cuddled at all times of the day. She is so affectionate most of the time. She is such a fun toddler...but you never know what you are going to get though. She goes from being super sweet and calm to mega-meltdown to bouncing off the walls silliness in a matter of minutes. We have days where she is a perfect little angel and others where she lives on time out...But at the end of the day we lay and cuddle. We read books and say prayers. We talk and she tells me all about what is going on in that head of hers. She is so thoughtful and sweet. We giggle and she tells me she loves me. She told me tonight that "My tigers are my best friends in the whole world. I told them don't eat sticks or you will get a tummy ache." I couldn't help but laugh. Then she laughs and we just lay and enjoy our happy moments together. Her imagination is just running wild these days and she pretend plays with all her toys. She is really so creative...and after a few minutes of conversation, we settle down and I "scat" (scratch) her tummy, her back and her head (in that order). She strokes her LaLa and then in an instant she is asleep.

oh I know these days won't last forever, but I am sure enjoying every second I can right now...trying to soak it all in and trying to figure out a way to never forget how much fun it is and how much I live for these moments.

PAUSE. PAUSE. PAUSE.